Saturday, August 1, 2015

are you hungry?

"who ever comes to me will never hunger" is quite the promise.

I starved myself for years. I forced myself to feel hunger.
And when I think back to those years, where food and weight was my idol and Jesus was left somewhere on the corner of selfish and vain, misguided and wrong, I am amazed that I ever came through on the other side.

I have this incredibly vivid memory of me, depressed and alone, under weight and yet so heavy, finding a church somewhere in Boston, getting on my knees, and sobbing.  I was in hideous pants from the Gap, with a button down shirt...a conservative look I took on in a false attempt to change myself, re create myself, even more.  It wasn't me.  It wasn't me at all.

But then again, I had no idea who I was.
Because apart from Jesus, that happens.
Living without Him is like driving across country without a GPS.
Or if you are like me, driving anywhere without a GPS.
I have no sense of direction.

And so it is amazing to me, when I sit back and think about my life, and think about my remember and recall the hard stuff, the great stuff, all of the stuff...and how the ONLY thing that saved me, and continues to save me, from any of it, was, and will always be,  Jesus.  Only in the moments when I bowed my head and acknowledged the ONE who could help me, did I find relief. Only when I believed in Him, did I come to know who I was meant to be.  Only when I stayed with Him, did I move in the right direction.

Over coffee with a friend this week, we discussed our children, because we are moms, and we worry and it is just what we do.  And when she asked how any of us have been able to overcome the obstacles, I flat out told her, "faith."  No Jesus, no chance, is how I truly feel.

And if I didn't have laundry and a dental appointment and outdoor furniture to paint, I would write more.  Or maybe not.  Is there really anything more to say?  Just keep Jesus close today.  And make sure your children get to know him too. If you think you were lost as a kid, just imagine what our kids today must feel like. Give them the GPS. Give them a relationship with Christ.  Talk about Him, even if they roll their eyes.  Read about Him, and let them see you pray to Him, even of they think you are the biggest loser on the planet.  Because we all starve ourselves from the truth in so many different ways.  And we all hunger to know our purpose. "who ever comes to me will never hunger."

Are you hungry?
Go to Him today.