Tuesday, December 1, 2015

the day I showed Jesus the door

My older son had friends over the other night, and one of the mom's dropping off asked if she could use our bathroom.  I had just put on a pot of coffee, and was in the middle of making dinner.  She came out of the bathroom, and started to talk.  I do not know her well.  We do not run around in the same circle.  But it was clear, she needed to talk.  And so I let her talk.  And the whole time she talked I thought, "I should offer her a cup of coffee".

But that would have been inconvenient.
And slightly uncomfortable.
I mean...I was making dinner.
And I really didn't know her.
And who knows how long she would stay if I made such a gesture?

And I am starting to wonder if I am missing it? The point. I am trying so hard to abide in Christ, so hard to lead others to Him, and yet when He stands in the middle of my kitchen thirsting, I do not offer him a drink. Why? Because it is inconvenient. Because it is uncomfortable. Because if I invite him in, who knows how long he will stay?

Because I was so caught up in myself, and making dinner, and doing what I wanted to do, I did not recognize Jesus.  Instead, I showed him the door.  I offered him nothing. 

I want to encounter Christ on my own terms.  In my own time.  And it just does not work that way.  And when I recognize this about me, it frustrates me.  I get discouraged.  And I start to wonder what am I even doing?  All of this ministry work?  All of this praying?  All of this volunteering?  For what?
Is any of this even working?  And what does that even mean...working?

I went to Adoration today and am always amazed at how many people show up to worship God, face to face.  And there on the cold hard ground was an elderly man.  He prayed on his knees for nearly an hour.  His hands were raised to the heavens.  His gaze was fixed on Christ.  His position did not look convenient or comfortable. And it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

When faith gets too comfortable, we need to change positions.
When I start to wonder why I do what I do, I need to remember it is not about the why I do, but the who I do it for.
And when strangers come knocking, we must do more than invite them in for a quick bathroom stop and then show them the door.
We need to ask them to stay.
We need to offer them a cup of coffee.
Because this...this is being the hands and feet of Christ.  Running a bible study or teaching religious ed? That comes easy to me!  But showing hospitality? Giving comfort to a stranger?  Well, that pulls me right out of my boat and rips the nets right out of my hands.  That feels like losing everything.  And that is where I want to be.

I pray I am given another chance, and I pray even harder that I do not miss it when it comes.