In about my fourth hour of labor with my first child....after pushing and pushing with nothing to show for it, I asked the nurse if I could stop and go home. All the months of joyful planning, the Kate Spade diaper bag and the Ralph Lauren layette, waiting tiny and folded in an over priced yellow and blue distressed dresser at home, meant nothing. I changed my mind. In that difficult dark hour, when I felt farthest from ever seeing the fruit of my labor, I had a fast change of heart. Forget the baby. Forget the layette. Screw the Kate Spade diaper bag. I was done. Just let me go home and sleep.
We were in that dark hour yesterday.
We are down to the wire with this move, and despite the hours of packing and tossing, and the excitement over our new space and beginning, I had that feeling. Just forget it....it is too much work...too much stress....this house...it is not worth it. Let's just stay.
Well, I ended up having that baby after all.
I even kept him.
And today, we move.
Despite the last of the little odds and ends that sit on counter tops and rest in corners and mock me, we are still moving.
And it is good to be reminded that when things feel the hardest, when you are at the end of your rope and can not keep your eyes open....that is the time to push forward. This is exactly the time to persevere.
Like Dori..just keep on swimming.
Push through the crowd...eye on the prize.
No sense ever in looking back.
Just look at Lot's wife...she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt! (Genesis 19)
We are all moving, really....maybe not literally, but certainly figuratively. We are constantly moving. And I pray that we do so not in fear, or full of anxiety, but rather with hope and peace and trust in the God that is leading us the whole way.
...and with coffee. A whole lot of strong coffee.